Hi. It’s good to catch up once again after what feels like a long period of writing hiatus. I’ve been asking myself of late when it is exactly I’m going to pick this blog up again so it’s good to find the time amongst the “busy” of my life. To be honest, I think I’ve been missing writing a lot, and seeing as it’s a gift my dad gave me it’s good to connect with a natural bias once again.

Training has been good of late and although I haven’t been getting to the gym as much as I’d like at points I’m valuing my time there. It’s not always about volume but what you learn and take away however I’m still a firm believer that the more you put in, the more you will always get out.

I’ve found that being busy has a tendency to have a knock-on effect on one of my favourite ways to spend my time and from next week onwards I’m upping the ante with my fitness regime outside of Muay Thai training and getting back into my running. Like one of the fighters from my camp said to me earlier you need to be fit and you need to be fast. It’s hard training let alone sparring with a Sunday hangover but I did great today.

There’s a lot I want to improve and get better and it’s good to know that I have some real goals to focus on in the gym and outside of it too. Muay Thai is a great outlet for me and it always has been. If energy flows where attention goes then it’s good to know that with Muay Thai it’s absolutely flowing in the right direction.

This week and last week have seen that energy going into improving a couple of things and being honest, despite a left bruised shin from kicking the heavy bag little bits could potentially be getting better. Before I start putting myself down I accept the fact to progress and improve not only do I need to remain consistent with my training but that I need to start changing who I am as a fighter. Because I am a fighter. Did you know that? sometimes I don’t see myself as one.

Sometimes I doubt myself and give myself a hard time for getting things wrong, for not using what I know, and for falling into the same patterns and traps when sparring, for being too predictable, for chambering my kicks for forgetting that people I train with tell me they think I’m a good boxer. That I’m a good fighter. I know how to fight and once they even told me that my record doesn’t do me justice. It’s just that now I’ve got to a point where I accept that I can just train for training’s sake and still set goals. I still want to be better than who I am and prove myself wrong and just get better and better with time.

My head coach said to me a while ago “never say never” so I’ll remember that and if you see a glint in my eye and a trademark smirk on my face when I look at the ring you’ll know that the guy who won an area title way back in 2013 is still very much in the room. He just needs your help again to show him he’s more than he ever thought he could be. Have a good week, train hard, and just like the last time..I’ll see you on that road.

Hi. It’s nice to catch up with you once again. I’ve actually been meaning to sit down and get some writing done for well over a week now and although procrastination and I are still really good mates, it’s nice as always to check-in.

Training this week has been pretty good and it’s nice that I’m finding the time more so than the week before to get down to the gym. Despite my bike needing some repair work next week I’ve already got the week ahead planned out and it’s not only going to be busy martial arts wise it’s no doubt going to be awesome.

Staying in it for as long as I have it’s still plain as day that I’m going to be training when I’m 60. Muay Thai has not only shown me that I can do anything I put my mind body and soul into but that it is over 15 years on just as much fun as it was on day one. It not only gets you in good shape fast but it teaches you about yourself.

It’s a journey that’s why I’m always on the road. I discovered this week that even on my just-about-getting-by days I’m still pretty good when I put my mind to it. Just recently I’ve come away from sparring sessions and training smiling and really that’s what it’s about. I don’t mind having a tough time as long as I’m learning something and most of the time I am.

I’ve looked at fighting as an “if it happens again great” situation and I’ll just go with the flow. I’m confident I’d do a lot better than the last time around. I remember what winning feels like and I love the combat so as they say never say never. At 43 years old my heart is just as big as it always was.

At present, I feel a lot better about myself and am focused on volunteering work, my day job, and living a good life and a happy one. My fight for justice is moving forward and the police monitoring group I founded is moving from strength to strength. Later this month I’m out to Spain to see my mum for her birthday and to celebrate and remember my amazing dad. It’s good to work from a place of strength inside.

Training has really helped me navigate loss and my gym has been very kind over the course of this year, but being honest they always have been. It’s one of the reasons I’ve trained there for many years. Of course, my previous gym Bristol Thai was just as welcoming and I achieved a lot there, but it’s good to have found my place on earth.

I intend to have another strong week of training from Tuesday onwards and it’s great to invest myself as much as I do. I know dad was always proud to see the man I’ve become. Have a good week, train hard, and just like the last time… I’ll see you on that road.

Hi. I hope you’re enjoying the Easter break and that all is well in your world. Despite planning to head to the gym this afternoon I’ve been defeated by my Saturday hangover which is a shame as I’ve spent literally every day this week bar today training. It has been good and although I still need to step my running game up again I feel that I’m benefiting from the extra push I’ve decided to give myself. More of the same is ahead next week onwards, and of course, I know if you don’t run then you don’t fight so I intend to step things up on that front too.

The past few months have been tough primarily due to navigating bereavement and it’s good to finally feel that I’m ready to start letting life head back to its normal pace. I think I’ve been doing that anyway but there are days when I just don’t want to do anything at all. My mum is pretty much in the same place as me and we talk every day and often video call in the evenings.

I think training has helped me get through what seems to have been the worst bits if that makes sense and volunteering has also helped keep me focused. I’m getting the volunteer and paid work balance right once again and I actually just finished opening letters that have been sitting in a small lonely pile for weeks and weeks and weeks.

Easter break as well as training has been awesome so far, and it’s been nice to get out into town over the weekend as well as have a good couple of nights of decent music and good company. You can’t beat dancing to chase the blues away.

Training wise I’ve got back to a good level of consistency I just want to try and get to open mat sessions a little earlier. And sort my time keeping out. I’ve also broken the bad habit of kicking with my foot instead of my shin. When you get put under a lot of pressure( I get to be put under a lot of pressure in sparring at points but I’m an experienced fighter it’s really to be expected.) )it’s also understandable to want to stay at a safe distance but kicking out of range isn’t really the way. I’m making myself stay close and stay in if I can.

This week I did some good stuff clinch wise and it’s an area of training I really feel I need to focus on. One of my first trainers called it an art within art and I’ve always found that to be true. I’m working on ways to shut down taller fighters so do my best to catch kicks and counter quickly, if there’s a lot of pressure from hands clinching is a good way to stop them, you just need to be brave enough to take the bull by the horns. Besides, when we’re that close we’ve got our elbows as well as knees.

Looking at Muay Thai from a self-defense perspective knees, elbows and clinch are half-decent tools to have in your arsenal, unless of course, you run into a knife in which case as Geoff Thompson once said pick up anything that isn’t nailed down and throw it at them then run. I’ve only ever been in a situation once in my 16 years plus of training where I had to defend myself and my training was there for me when I needed it the most.

I say once, going back a few years I was the victim of a racist attack. Three of them jumped me and one had to hit me with a bike lock to come anywhere close to hurting me. I was drunk at the time and had I been switched on and sober I don’t think firstly I would have ended up in the situation in the first place and secondly, I would have defended myself with vigor. I stayed on my feet, however. My friends the next day all came over to see me from Easton in Bristol and were generally amazing.

But that incident aside, I’ve found that bullies including racist ones got a lot warier of me when I started martial arts, not because I walk around with my chest puffed out but because it’s about how you carry yourself as a person. It’s about the aura you project. As I said towards the beginning of today’s blog I feel stronger in myself as I carry on the long path of healing from loss. I actually feel how I did when I started this martial journey of mine and there’s an inner toughness that’s growing inside of me again. I believe in putting others before myself. It’s a characteristic I’ve inherited from both my parents but in particular my beautiful father. I have a lot to thank him for and I know he was always proud of me and all my achievements.

I’m back at the gym tomorrow afternoon and Monday morning has got first run of the week written all over it. Enjoy the rest of the Easter break. I’ve had the best Easter Sunday of nothing ever and my hangover is now at the time of writing just about gone. Dancing and good times are fun but Muay Thai is importanter. Here’s to the week ahead and just like the last time.. I’ll see you on that road.

Hi. It´s nice to catch up once again. Yesterday I got myself out to Spain to see my amazing mum for the Christmas break and of course, depending on restrictions on travel I plan to be home in Bristol for New Years Eve. This however is and always will be my second home in the sun and its nice to remember that of the many things my dad did with his life he also always did for me.

It´s been less than three weeks since he left us and like mum I´m taking it one day at a time. Some days things are good some days I feel like a black cloud is following me. Like an omnipresent weight is bearing down on my shoulders that is loss , acceptance and grief taking shape. Thursday this week was one of those days and I decided to train.

I walked in the gym instantly feel like I didn´t want to be there. Planning to only stay for an hour resulted in me staying to the end and releasing negative energy and channelling it through a positive outlet into something that might be a little rusty right now but is ultimately good, made me feel infinitely better.

After training as I cycled home it felt like something said to me ´come see me again soon.” I haven´t heard or felt that in my inner in a long time. In fact the last time was when me and Muay Thai first met way back in 2007. Since that point my art has been a constant in my life and always there.

I´ve forgotten the power it has to pick me up from the ground. It´s taught me how to fight in the ring and helped me defend myself on the street on a couple of occasions. But then again, I have always been strong and a survivor. Some say I´m a natural fighter. They make us South Africans tough. My fighting spirit stems from my roots.

Another thing I´m grateful for at present is the strength and presence I have when it comes to navigating the trauma caused by the loss of my beautiful father (Bayete Nkosi). Mental toughness and emotional intelligence have been the order of the day. These are traits I have been given by both my parents and have developed through my art.

My mother is an incredibly strong woman and just as beautiful as my dad. They have both taught me to walk tall and fight for what I believe in. They have always both been incredibly proud of me for everything I have achieved in my journey through martial arts.

As I approach my 16th year of training in this long and rewarding road that is Muay Thai I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for every little thing. You are my second family. Despite my world seeming bleak at points spending time investing in myself training with you then and training with you now has always brought out the best in me. Here´s to many more years. I´ll see you on that road.