Well, I’m sitting here just after midnight, writing last week’s blog. As usual I feel like I’m catching up on myself. It seems harder these days to keep on top of everything training included but just like with boxing things are on track. I would like to be training a little more than I am at present but I know that I am doing enough and I’m still training hard. It’s not always easy committing to this sport as I’ve mentioned more than once but it’s always worth it. I think I’ve said that before too.
The show just seems to have crept up on me. I’ve had so much to do of late and of course, I’m pretty committed to sharing my progress with you guys every week too. Some days it’s really just a case of finding the time. Somehow I always manage to do it though. I guess that in itself tells me I’m on the right path. A while ago, I asked myself what I needed to get better, to turn into a fighter I’ve seen in my minds eye a hundred times before. Like with everything else I want to achieve it comes down to self belief and some times sheer grit determination. When I asked that question before a voice said (with quiet confidence) ‘you’ll find what you need.’ And slowly but surely I think that I am.
It’s always when I feel like I’m getting no where that I’m usually making progress and little by little I’m making improvements through my training /fight training. Is it easy? no. But I love it though. In fact right now I really wouldn’t change me for the world. Flaws and all. I thought to myself earlier on tonight, maybe I need a break from this. Maybe it would be easier to have a rest for a while. After training tonight I realized that stepping away from Muay Thai would mean that life really wouldn’t be the same. It’s very easy to feel despondent sometimes and I think some of it is pre fight nerves coming through. Am I good enough? Am I strong enough? I don’t want to lose again I don’t want to lose again I don’t..and then I deal with it by training. And I come away with the best feeling. And I feel strong inside. And I realize how much I want to win.
This week, without thinking about it I’ve been seeing myself beating him. I keep thinking about that win. It could go the other way. It could easily go the other way. Or because I work hard, perhaps once again it will go my way. And then if I work really hard it’ll go my way again. We’ll see. All I can do is put in the last bit of work I have to, and I know I’ll be ready.
So for the rest of the week, I’m going to be training hard. I guess really when it comes down to it that’s all I can say for now. I think I’ll probably have a lot more to tell you come the end of this week. At least I hope so anyway. But in the meantime, have a good week, train hard and just like the last time I’ll see you on that road. Chok dee with fighting and training. Walk tall.