Nothing I do is perfect

Hi, good to catch up once again. How’s your week been? mines not been too bad at all. Running and training have been consistent as always and it’s good to see that freelance work is finally taking shape after a massive hiatus period that I can only attribute to lockdown. I think my business is also going to successfully come out of hibernation too. All in all things are looking much brighter than they did 2 months ago, so I guess that can only ever be a good thing.

You know it’s funny just having been through a pretty rough period in my life that things as always seem to be righting themselves. Nothing it seems, is ever permanent and everything changes. From time to time I use the I Ching (The book of change) regardless of what you think about that sort of thing I’ve always found it never tells you anything you don’t know already.

In regards of what I’ve just been through and where I’m headed it’s told me the future is bright and to take my time with everything I want to improve in my life. This is sound advice. When it comes to Muay Thai little by Iittle I can see improvements happening. There is no rush and I’d rather develop what I do at my pace. I have a lot to learn but so does everyone. Nothing I do is perfect but what’s perfect anyway?

It is meaningful and important to notice your limitations, where you need to grow, and your mistakes. It is not meaningful – ever – to judge those exact same observations. Because they are perfect, just as they are. They contain the whole of your potential, just as they are.

I spend a lot of time pulling myself to pieces over the smallest things when it comes to martial arts and it’s taken me over fifteen years of training to realize that self improvement is an ongoing process. It never really ends unless of course you decide to throw the towel in. I’ve never been a quitter.

Sakprasert Bournemouth , 2009

Today I realised that I’ve been training for nearly fifteen and a half years. Overall in martial arts I’m close to 17 years. I never thought this was going to happen but now that I’m here I’m very pleased it has. Once again, Muay Thai has been there for me when I needed it the most. I met it when I was a shadow of myself and on the tail end of a very messy breakup with a girl I loved very much.

It gave me some self confidence back again and then it pulled me out of a cycle of police targeting and constant stop and searches. It showed me there was more to me than I thought and the shy kid who used to get picked on by wankers? He decided to leave and a confident man emerged in his place, stronger than he had ever been walking taller than he ever had before.

This time round, although things are different they are also the same. I fell down and got up but instead of glossing over the damage I’ve decided to sit down with it and ask it how we can heal, and in the background always there for me is my art, letting me switch off when I need to and reminding me that I’m a lot stronger than I ever thought I would be.

I don’t react to so called problems in my life any more I respond to them. The emotionally intelligent 42 year old man knows when the impulsive 20 something wants to drive and assesses if he should. It’s fun letting him charge off into the sunset but you know what? I’ve learnt from past mistakes so know how to not make the same ones again. Training helps keep me focused, sharp and my heart big. Us fighters aren’t thugs. We’re martial artists and life warriors. Nothing I do is perfect, but I only ever grow. Have a good week and train hard, and just like the last time.. I’ll see you on that road.

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