Well, here we are again you and me and as usual I’m late. You know since the last time we caught up I’ve still been struggling with doing things not just how I want to but how I should do. I think I’m going to stick to my guns however and keep focused.
It does take time to get things back on track but it’s getting there. Load balancing has never been an easy task but it’s doable when you put your mind to it. And speaking of putting my mind to things I need to start paying attention more in training. I think I’m picking things up well at present. Not everything but there’s a lot that works.
Focus, especially when I’ve had a long day isn’t always where it should be. I’ve always been a bit of day dreamer and I internalize a lot and it’s easy to find myself drifting a little when I should be paying attention.You see the thing is when I relax and really enjoy what I’m doing, things more often than not get a lot easier than they were the minute before.
When I put the frustrations out my head of needing someone to be sharper with the pads, and I forget the bad day I’ve had work wise, I let go of the stress of Open University course work I keep running away from, forget about the bills and everything else that lies ahead, when I let all of that fall away and focus on the here and now things get easier. And I realize I’m getting better.
Keeping myself in the moment or the here and now (which is where we should be all of the time but often finds ourselves caught up in the past or worrying about the future) keeps my mind empty enough to let my body do what it needs to. I know I need to be training more than I am at present. I can feel it every time I kick, every time I hit something. My body tells me so I keep focusing on getting better and little by little It’s coming together. It just needs a bit more time every week..
Well, being honest it needs a lot more but that, like everything else is a work in progress. Now that’s something I’ve not heard myself say in a while. Why it can only be a good thing. So as I get ready for the rest of Wednesday morning, contemplate how far I’m going to run at some point today, worry about my degree, workflow and everything else ahead.. I think I’m going to remember that now and again it’s ok to let things fall away. I think I’m going to remember to be still. Because here I am. And there. Right there. Is the voice.