Training this week has been a little more balanced than previously. I’ve found the time to spend more time at the gym than the week before and hope that next week onwards I’m back on the up. Although it’s still been ever so slightly under my ideal threshold (only a few sessions this week) It’s better than none at all and I’ve still got my sights on getting back into the ring at least few more times before I train for just training’s sake.
There’s no driving urge but it’s something I know I can still do and succeed at and most importantly it still looks like fun and a good challenge. We shall see how things progress and the main thing right now is to keep focused. There’s a few people at my camp that would like to take a step down (or get back onto) that path and opportunity always knocks when you least expect it.
Skill and technique obviously are a big part in fighting but rising to the challenge is something that doesn’t come easy. Even stepping into a ring at an interclub level can be a daunting experience at first, especially when you don’t know anything about the person in front of you. I did about 11 or 12 interclubs before I felt ready to step up. 15 fights and over 30 interclubs later I still feel just as passionate as I did at the beginning.
Even if I’d won every single fight I’ve ever fought I’d still see beyond winning and losing. I’ve only ever had something to prove to myself and until I stop having something to prove to me I’ll keep boxing. Fighting to me is about winning but it’s also not just about winning. If I had to associate it with anything I’d say it’s part of my quest to always be better than who I am.
And that’s never meant I’m better than anyone else. And If you think the latter is what what I think inside you don’t get me and you never will. I train because I love training and I fight because I love the challenge. Nothing to lose and nothing to prove. (at least not to you anyway.)
Encountering fear in anything you do is a lengthy subject but if your passionate about something and want something enough you’ll learn to overcome your fears and use that energy as a force of good.
When it comes to Muay Thai I’ve learnt to use that energy as a weapon. It’s irrelevant what level anyone is fighting at doing what we do, because the doubts and the reservations we run into are the same across the board from the person stepping into a ring for their first interclub, right the way up to professional level. Granted the stakes may be a lot higher but the courage that’s needed is the same.
I’ve learnt that turning self doubt into self belief and fight nerves into aggression in the ring doesn’t just see you through a fight but can win one. It can also bring out a side of you, you never knew existed. Martial arts gives a lot back to you but courage and self belief has got to be the best gift of them all.
You know, it’s easy to worry about how you come across to others at points but I’ve found the more you worry about what other people think the less you get done. If you want to succeed at anything you simply have to go for it and do your best. I’ve found more often than not what I need I already have inside anyway.
So this week, I feel positive. You can probably tell. In fact, I’ve been feeling positive about a lot of things for a little while. A friend of mine said to me recently “things do get better.” It made me smile because the thing is things have been getting better for a long time. In fact, ever since they did I’ve never looked back and I don’t think I ever will. Here’s to next week and 2018. Train hard, and I’ll see you on that road.