Wow. This is nice. I’ve actually managed to find the time to sit down and write. Sorry to have been away a little longer than usual but I’ve learnt the hard way that unless I get this thing written and published every Sunday without fail it basically never happens. Anyway, generic “woah is me my writing’s fallen to the wayside” whinge out the way it’s good to be back on track. For the time being anyway.
Training wise things have been motoring ahead as usual and I’m still pressing forward. That’s a given. As long as I’m pointed in the right direction I’m a happy guy. I guess that applies to everything. I was hoping to have fought this weekend but being honest the fact I didn’t isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
The apparent breakdown in communication or lack of communication from what seemed a positive conversation got under my skin at first but life as they say, is like that. And it’s really not worth letting things like that get you. As usual I’ve just risen above it.
I’m fit enough and strong and good enough to keep fighting so keeping my eyes on the prize is the main thing. I’ve never wanted to be anything special but I love competing so I’ve decided to look after myself for the time being if needs be.
It’s very easy to question someone’s motives for saying “hey let me sort this out, but I need you to watch my back” so explaining my reasons briefly I just feel that if I keep waiting for things to come to me I’m going to be waiting a long time. I believe in myself and I trust my own judgement. I know there’s a good year or left in the tank and sometimes I get tired of waiting for opportunity to knock.
Besides, sparring and interclubs (not that I really do those any more) are useful but are not the same as competing. That’s something I’m determined to get back to. I won’t let it go. Like a yorkshire terrier with a squeaky toy.
I’ve always traveled this road well and given it my all, and I’m still just as determined as I ever was. I still have just as much respect for my current gym and trainer as I always have but feel that I need to “go out and get it”. It’s really not just fighting for fighting sake. It’s really not just “I will get so good I will become the next champion of life and prove you all wrong” it’s more about the fact I just really love boxing.
I really love fighting and I want to win again. I want to be able to say “you know what I came back for a little while and I turned it around and won again once. then again twice. then again thrice… you get the drift. And it wasn’t an easy fight. It wasn’t a one fight wonder. That guy was good.”
I set my expectations high because I believe in myself. Even if I fail I know that I tried but if I have something to aim for right now I think I’ll succeed. Working on technique and improving is great but that’s a given. I feel itchy. I want to get the rust off. I miss being in the ring.
I hope that this year, I finally get back to the old me. When you see him you’ll know him. I live with him every day and I love that part of me and the feeling it brings. It’s mine to keep. Have a good week, and just like the last time. I’ll see you on that road.