Training this week although not quite as intensive at points as I’d like hasn’t been too bad and I’m pleased to say the week’s still been pretty full. I’ve started throwing in a 4 to 4 and a half mile run a couple of times a week that my times starting to improve with although at points I’ve questioned how committed I feel to getting out to Europe in a couple of weeks to fight again.
However, it really does look like it’s happening. Which is pretty awesome. I’m intending to put in a big push next week and some of the week after. I’m currently sitting at around the 40% ready mark. If you want to put a percentage on this kind of thing that is. Along the way I’ve found there’s another show happening a little closer to home over the summer I’ve already asked to fight on that is yet another goal to work towards when I get back. In generally, I’ve gone from not really doing too much to suddenly find what I want staring me in the face..
And that’s the thing. Sometimes people get what they want only to realize it’s not really what they were looking for. I feel similar to how I did in some respects to before I had my first fight way back in the mists of 2010. That was a good fight and one some said I won. Kind of like my last fight.
When I say I feel similar I mean I feel a little nervous. Then again, I always feel nervous. If I didn’t, something would seriously be wrong. I questioned earlier if I’ve been training enough for next month and the answer is I’d really like to be training more. I need to do more weights at home and I also need to do more sit ups. Everything else seems to be working itself out.
The problem with delaying and putting things off is that when you wait for tomorrow,. it often never comes. I think of late I’ve been suffering with an ongoing battle of procrastination and I feel that I am only just starting to break that little mould and step out my shell again and drop the excuses.
Little by little things are heading back on track, and even though I may give myself a hard time a mental kick up the arse never hurt anyone. I’m not afraid of much these days and the critics if they even exist, can go fuck themselves. They don’t know me. Only I do. I’m pretty sure the only critic out there is me anyway. And you really wouldn’t him. He’s a negative prick.
So little by little, even sitting here writing this I’m learning once again to push past the self doubt and look at the goal or goals I’ve got in front of me. In the cold light of day I’m well aware of what I’m doing. I’ve done it before and when I actually get stuck in I really enjoy it. It’s a good challenge and I love the combat.
Do I still want it enough to win? ha if I didn’t there’d most certainly be something wrong. I’m pretty confident that fights this year are going to be better than before win or lose and I’m still pretty much convinced going in off the back off a loss gives you a bit more motivation. We shall see how things play out in 2017. Positive mental attitude and all that stuff.
I’m looking forward to a good bank holiday run tomorrow morning. I was going to go earlier on this evening but then I’d just been training and one excuse quickly led to another and before I knew it, it was dark. And it was raining. Mildly. So when it comes to excuses next week onwards I’ve decided to drop the last of them.
They don’t serve me any purpose and like Nino Brown once said “bullshit runs a marathon.” It’s a nice feeling knowing that when I put my mind to it I can do whatever I want. I hope that never changes. Have a great week, train hard and just like the last time… I’ll see you on that road.