Fear’s still a friend.

Well, I’ve been quiet of late blog wise and I don’t mean to be. As always I’m keeping busy and as always I’m still training. Just recently it has really felt like I’m up against ‘it’. These days ‘it’ seems to take many shapes and forms.

So whilst we’re on the subject of writing I’m going to do my best to get things back on track again because just like training and fighting, it’s something I love doing. And just like the latter sometimes it’s a release valve. I think today might be one of those days.

I’m still working on a longer term writing project, I say working I’ve not picked it up for a while now and I think some of that is down to the fear of wondering where it’s going to go next but just like right now when I write it flows. And just like boxing it makes me happy. So sorry I’ve been a little quiet recently, it’s just that I have a lot on.

I’ve been managing to train consistently if not as regularly as I’d like and just like the energizer bunny I keep on going. Keep on trucking. Not giving up and staying in it. I think giving up has probably become kind of a fear of mine but as soon as the doubt creeps in the motivation returns and the fear becomes a friend. Over time I’ve got to know my own pretty well.

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Last weekend I was in London for the first time in around 8 years. I actually thought it was a lot longer than that. During my travels in the day I stepped foot in a part of London I swore I would never go back to. I  realized how much it had changed and moved on. In a way it was liberating because it let something go inside of me. The skeleton in the closet turned to dust and I felt free. I felt a little bigger inside and I was in good company the whole day so you know.. that always helps.

Through training and fighting I’ve learnt to  to step into all of my fears more and more every day. Oh there’s still a few. There’s still the voice. Some days my mind runs rings around me. But I see it for what it is and remember that the most important time is now. There really is no time like the present. I need to spend more time here. I’m always here when I’m fighting. In fact I think I might be now.

I’m still going with the flow training wise and taking things in increments. In small steps to achieve what I want. Some days things are full on some days its more about getting things right. It’s always about getting things right but you know what I mean. Fighting wise the summer seems a long way off but you know how quickly time flies. Especially when you might be fighting.

I’ve got a lot of positives in my life at present and I’m pleased that things at the moment although at points a little stressful are moving in the only direction I’m interested in and that’s forward. I’m making a point of getting the blog regular again as well as getting to the gym more even if I have to crawl there. Well maybe not crawl there but it sounds dramatic doesn’t it?

Training as always is what it is just like with writing. I don’t think I’m going to give up on either one of them for a long long time to come. Better late than never and determined as always. Next one might even be up Sunday. I’ll see you on that road.

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